Shadows
by Dark Prophet17
Summary: Shuichi is a model who has no real purpose in life until he gets a job offer from Tohma, which changes his life forever. He meets a certain novelist who shows him what life is really all about and that it is better to be yourself than someone you're not.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fic! Actually, I've written more, but this is the first one that has been posted! Yay! I hope you all like it and if you don't... i am very sorry. I would like it very much if you all review so that way i know if it is just crap! And if it is... please point out my mistakes. I always try to improve my grammar! This is a YukiShuichi romance fic. and it doesn't really go off of the anime/manga.

Prologue

I've tried everything to be normal. Studied hard, participated in athletics, and even got two part-time jobs after school. My family believes in disgrace and honor. In order to gain the love of your superiors you had to work hard and be the best. My mother was a doctor, my father a chemist. My older sister was valedictorian, earned a forty-thousand dollar scholarship, and got a degree in astronomy. My cousins were architects, my grandfather an entrepreneur. Our family is the most known and wealthy in New York.

I… am a failure. I graduated high school in the top 4 in my class, got a twenty-five thousand dollar scholarship, and went on a pursuit to become a lawyer (for my parents), eventually dropped out of college, and got a job as a male super model. Not to mention I'm gay. Out of my entire family, only my sister and mother speak to me and all they do is nag. Lucky me… Father refuses to see me and, well, the rest of the family… they can all go to hell.

I no longer live in America. Just last year I moved here… to Tokyo, Japan! Where my several greats grandfather emigrated from. I've become even more famous here. I've become well known as Kumori, or Shadow. I guess it suits me pretty well. Personally, modeling sucks and it doesn't do well for your image. Most people think that your idiotic, anorexic whores. Since I turned thirteen all I ever wanted to be was a rock star. Guess Dad drowned that dream quickly. I soon forgot about my dream once I hit high school and my parents were pressuring me to become a lawyer. I always hated law.

So here I am, living in the grandest hotel and visiting the back streets of Tokyo, shopping for my favorite Mary Jane or whatever else they have to sell. My life never was worth much. The only companion I have is my manager and he's always forcing pills down my throat to help with my weight/ energy problem. Apparently I'm fat, even though I weigh around 115 pounds. If only I became a rock star… but we'll never know now.

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay here's chapter one! Sorry it took a while... i got a little depressed and then i had homework to do. A word of advice... never get the last DVD to Chrono Crusade for those who like the anime. It'll scar you for life! Anywho! Read and review please!**

Chapter One

"And that's a wrap!" shouted the camera man as he stood from the waxed floor. "Excellent job Shuichi! One of your best yet!"

Shuichi turned and smiled, his eyes dull, yet his face bright. He walked away from the camera man and toward the refreshments table, wearing a black trench coat with black pants that were attached to him with buckles and a black turtle neck with no sleeves. His black boots that went up to his knees clunked heavily onto the floor, weighing at least ten pounds per boot. Quickly turning around to face the camera man he tilted his head.. "Oh, Haru, you say that every time!"

Haru blushed as he rubbed his head nervously. "Well, you are the best. I've never seen a model with so much talent!"

Shuichi shook his head, turning around as he continued smiling. From a nearby table he grabbed

"Yes, Shindou is quite the talented little song bird, now isn't he?" came a voice from behind. Shuichi quickly looked up from the table as Haru turned to the man.

Walking towards them, was a man dressed in a black suit jacket, white buttoned shirt, blue jeans, and a pair of black sunglasses. His silver-blue hair was straight and ended at his chin and shined brightly underneath the soft lights of the room. Removing his sunglasses as he flipped his hair away from his eyes, he revealed bright green eyes and smiled slyly at the two.

"Oh! Mr. Himoto!" shouted Haru as he frantically gathered papers together to make it look as if he were working.

Shuichi smirked as he wiped his sweaty, make-upped face with the towel he'd been holding. "Hello, Hideki. Is there anything you need?"

Hideki smirked as he walked toward Shuichi, who was currently sucking down some water. "Just came to check up on my star model. It's not everyday that Seguchi Tohma asks a model of mine to be the lead singer of a band he's sponsoring. I have to wonder if you tend to take up his offer." His arms came around Shuichi affectionately as he lightly settled his head on Shuichi's shoulder, snuggling against his cheek.

Shuichi stiffened, yet nothing was shown on his blank pale face. Not even a light blush from how the older man's lower body brushed against his behind. Hideki's arms moved lower, pushing Shuichi's lower half closer to him. He moaned softly into Shuichi's ear. "I had hoped you refused," whispered the older man tantalizingly into his ear. "I wouldn't want to lose my 'Shadow' to a **ridiculous **dream, now would I?"

"I haven't answered him yet," Shuichi said calmly as he moved away from Hideki and set his cup down on the table.

"And?" Hideki leaned back on a pole behind him. Everyone had left and it was just the two of them left to talk.

Shuichi hesitated. "He invited me to a party. A bunch of celebrities and the band is going to be there. I'll answer him then."

"I suppose I'm invited, as well?"

Shuichi turned towards his manager. Hideki simply smiled at him as he crossed his arms. The model quickly looked to the floor and answered, "If you want, I can get you an invitation."

"Good boy! Now," Hideki said as he walked toward Shuichi and kissed him fiercely on the mouth. After pulling back he quickly turned around and walked away. "I'm sure you'll make the right choice," finished the manager as he waved goodbye, turning off the lights as he went.

Sighing, Shuichi sat down in a chair and ran a hand through his black hair. Chuckling softly he whispered to no one in particular, "Alone once again."

Tohma paced nervously in his office. It was a rare occurrence when the Great Seguchi Tohma, the president of NG Studios, was unsure about something. Yuki had to wonder if this was some forewarning of the end of the world as he rested his feet up onto his friend's desk and watched the president fret.

"What's wrong Tohma? Is Mika at it again with her tantrums? I don't think I've ever seen you this upset after a long argument." Yuki chuckled.

Tohma quickly turned toward Yuki and slouched, his anxiety getting to him. "I wish it was Mika."

Yuki quickly set his feet on the ground as Tohma returned to his desk. "Then what is it?"

Tohma sighed. "I'm sure you've heard of my meeting with the model, Shindou Shuichi also known as Shadow."

"Of course. It's been on almost every channel for a week now. And?"

"I'm sure you also know that I asked him to be the lead singer of the new band I'm sponsoring."

"Bad Luck is it?" asked Yuki.

"I don't know. Anyway, I was beginning to wonder why I had so much faith in this band when I entered a bar. Apparently, it was Karaoke Night and there he was. Like an angel from God."

"I don't see this story going anywhere."

"Okay, fine! So I asked him if he could be our lead singer and he said 'I'll have to think about it'. And then I invite him to a NG Bash and he said 'I'll give you an answer then'."

"I still don't understand the problem," stated Yuki, boredom evident in his tone.

"He's not the problem at all! He's shy and nice- everything I need to manipulate him! It's his damn manager who is the problem! Just yesterday Shindou called me up and asked me for another invite for Hideki!"

"Who's Hideki?"

"His manager! Would you please stay focused for just a few minutes! Anyway, I said 'Sure' and then that damn Hideki calls me up and asks me exactly why I need his 'Shadow' for MY IMMATURE BAND!"

Yuki's eyes widened as he watched Evil Tohma come out of Good Tohma. Satan's spawn was right before him.

"AND NOW THAT **IMPUDENT SON OF A BITCH **IS GOING TO BE AT THE PARTY **MANIPULATING MY LEAD SINGER **INTO **REFUSING MY GOOD NATURED PROPOSITION!"**

"Satan's spawn, I would really appreciate it if you would refrain from spitting on me when you yell. By the way, I'm sure the people in India don't appreciate you waking them up."

Tohma sighed as he sat back down into his chair. "I'm sorry, Eiri. I did not mean to yell at you. It's just this Hideki could possibly be my downfall."

Yuki sighed as he ran a hand through his gold hair. "Alright, what do you want me to do?"

Tohma smiled as he jumped out of his chair and toward Yuki. "Why Eiri! I thought you'd never ask." Yuki rolled his eyes. "Tomorrow night is the NG Bash. And of course, you're invited! What I want you to do is separate Hideki and Shindou. If Hideki is by Shindou's side while I make my attack-"

"You're plan will be ruined," interrupted Yuki. "Now what's in it for me?"

Tohma's smile widened. "You get to seduce him all you want! I even give you permission to have sex with him!"

Yuki scowled. "Do you take me for a fool? I want all of my house keys back. Even the ones that you had personally made! Make sure to check Tatsuha, as well!"

"But-"

"No buts! I'm tired of all three of you entering MY apartment whenever you damn well feel like it. Either you give me EVERY SINGLE key or I'm out!"

Tohma scowled. "Fine! They'll be given to you AFTER the party."

"Before or no deal."

"FINE!"

Yuki smirked as he leaned back in his chair, lighting a cigarette as he did so. "I have to wonder if this Shindou Shuichi really is as stupid as you say he is."

Tohma smirked. "Why else do you think he became a model?"

**Please Review! **


	3. Chapter 3

**No homework! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Actually, it's all due thursday since we have a half day tomorrow. Oh well! Why do today when you can put off till' tomorrow (I think that's how the saying goes). Anyway** **here's chapter two!**

Chapter Two

The party was held in an elegant hotel. A chandelier hung in a great hall where several celebrities and anyone else who were filthy rich dined and chatted with each other. Descending stairs led to a water fountain in the middle of the hall and the floor was covered in marble. Outside limos lined up out front as camera men took pictures of all those who were invited.

The band, Bad Luck, arrived and walked through the gateway of people, waving as they smiled nervously. After they were safe inside another black limo arrived and as the violet eyed kid climbed out a huge eruption of screaming fans swarmed.

Hideki climbed out after Shuichi, wearing a white tux with a white top hat, silver cane and sunglasses. Shuichi was the complete opposite, wearing a black trench coat with a nice white dress shirt, black tie, and black dress pants. In his ears were black crosses and on his face were black eye liner, mascara, and glitter.

As they walked toward the entrance of the hotel fans from all around tried to grab at the model, making security surround the poor boy and lead him swiftly into the entrance. Yet, his torture was far from over.

Hideki kicked open the door and shouted, "We're here!"

The entire hall became silent as people turned to stare at the model and his obnoxious manager. A man with a gun eyed the manager and model while Tohma gulped down a glass of wine. Mika ignored the entire outburst completely.

Shuichi smacked his face in utter disgust, his face going beat red as Hideki grabbed hold of his arm and dragged him down the stairs towards the snobs. And as he passed, the whispers he heard made him grow even redder.

"What a snob!"

"I need a white tux. Why don't I have a white tux?"

"Because you have style!"

"Poor kid. Having to be stuck with a lunatic."

"I don't know. I feel sorry for the white tux dude… having to be stuck with such a stiff!"

"He looks a little weird," whispered a red head to the foreign blonde who held the gun. "I have to wonder what this model is like."

Shuichi, hearing the comment, quickly looked at the ground as he followed his manager to the foyer, ignoring the stares that everyone gave them and the comments they made.

_I told him not to wear that outfit! _Shuichi's mind screamed as he scowled at the shiny floor.

"Is that the Hideki you were talking about?" asked Yuki as he watched the man in the top hot laugh obnoxiously at a joke someone made (which really wasn't at all funny, Yuki thought). He turned back to Tohma with a disgusted look on his face.

"Yes," answered Tohma as he scowled yet his eyes lightened when he spotted the person he most wanted to see. "And there's Shindou."

Yuki followed his friend's gaze to lay his eyes on the dark model. He inhaled a breath from his cigarette and made his way over to the boy who stood alone leaning on a pole, looking bored. As he walked toward the model, his target's eyes lifted, revealing those stunning orbs and Yuki stopped a foot a way, struck dumb as he stared at the handsome man before him.

Forcing a smile (which is hard for Yuki) Yuki began, "Hello. I'm Yuki Eiri. You must be the model Shindou Shuichi, I presume?"

The boy smiled and just as he opened his mouth to speak there came a, "Of course he is! That's 'my Shadow'!" Hideki laughed at his own joke as Yuki grimaced. _Must ignore horrible obnoxious laughter, _thought Yuki as his eye twitched. Shuichi looked to the ground as Hideki continued speaking for him. "Shuichi is the best model I have, let alone the most competitive. He follows me around just about everywhere, just like my shadow." Hideki pinched Shuichi's cheek for effect. "His pseudo name fits him well, don't you think?"

Yuki smirked. "Of course. I just came up to compliment him on his choice of clothes. Dark and mysterious, yet classy. I like it. Clashing tastes and feelings brings out a sort of… inventive side."

Hideki sneered as he wrapped an arm around Shuichi, pulling him close. As Yuki stared, he noticed no reaction from the boy; just continued to stare at the ground. _They must be lovers of some sort… _"It's just like you to look beyond the barrier, isn't it Yuki? But a word of advice. Back off. We'll confront Tohma when we damn well feel like it. So tell him to stop getting his panties in a bunch."

Yuki scowled as he turned around and left. Reaching the bar, he sat next to Tohma and quickly ordered some kind of beer. As he chugged it down, Tohma watched him and scowled when Yuki didn't say anything. "So?" asked Tohma anxiously.

"The bastard already knows. It's as if he can read our minds! And I didn't get a word out of Shindou! That's the last time I act cheerful!"

Tohma rolled his eyes. He began to turn away when he finally caught on to what Yuki said and swirled around. "What do you mean he already knows?"

Yuki muttered, "His exact words were 'Back off. We'll confront Tohma when we damn well feel like it'." Yuki slowly stood from his seat and took out his cigarettes.

"Hey! Where are you going?" shouted Tohma as he watched Yuki leave.

"What does it look like? I'm going out to smoke a cig!"

"Since when did you decide to smoke outside?"

"Since that bastard decided to screw with me!" shouted Yuki as he turned towards Tohma, fire flashing in his eyes.

Shoving him up against the wall, Hideki braced his hands on either side of his head and kissed harshly, bruising the lips. Shuichi quickly moved his lips away and turned his head, allowing his manager to nip at his neck as he grinded his lower body to him. No emotion showed on the model's face as Hideki unbuttoned his pants and slipped his hand down his boxers to stroke what waited. His eyes focused on the ground, covered in dirt, litter, and whatever else people threw out here in the ally. His eyes were clouded and his hands lay limp. _What else am I for other than to be his sex slave?_

Hideki moved away, the cold reaching Shuichi immediately, making him shiver as his pants were buttoned back up. A hand went to his chin and was pulled over to meet green eyes staring at him. Shuichi stared blankly at the handsome man, his breaths coming in short puffs, his face pale. Hideki smiled as he lightly kissed Shuichi, lips brushing lips. "You're so beautiful, Shuichi," whispered the man after he pulled away. "Like an untouchable doll." _An untouchable doll… _Hideki stroked the model, running his hands through the black hair and lightly brushing his cheeks with his fingertips. "I love you so much."

Shuichi blinked in reaction. _Those words don't mean anything to me any more... _Hideki kissed Shuichi once again, his tongue diving in and then quickly recoiling. A pill appeared in front of Shuichi's view and was quickly placed inside his mouth. Shuichi swallowed as he closed his eyes. _My life. _Hideki kissed Shuichi once again, moaning as he thrust his hips and nipped at his lips. His nails scratched at his shoulders while another hand went down to massage his bottom, lifting him up slightly._ Please… make this stop…_

The door opened, revealing light. Hideki quickly backed off from Shuichi, but smirked when he noticed who it was. "Why hello Yuki! Come for a smoke? Or perhaps a threesome?"

Yuki scowled and said nothing as he walked to a corner away from the two, lighting his cigarette as he went.

Hideki turned back to Shuichi and smiled. "I'll leave you to yourself. If you need me, I'll be with Tohma," said the manager right before he kissed the model and left.

Shuichi sighed as he pulled his trench closer, protecting himself from the brutal wind. Yuki glanced his way as Shuichi stared up at the sky, not even realizing that the blonde was staring at him. "So... are you his lover?"

Shuichi's eyes widened, but then softened as he chuckled. He turned slowly toward Yuki and shook his head. "No. More like someone he takes his anxieties out on. He actually has a wife who's currently pregnant."

"I see," answered Yuki as he took another puff from his cigarette. "Is that how you got hired?"

"WHAT!" Shuichi's face turned read with anger and embarrassment as he scowled at the blonde.

"You know. In order to get a job, did you-"

"Of course not! I'm not that type of person…"

Yuki exhaled, smoke coming out as he turned and smiled slyly at the nervous model. "So… what prompted you to go to a bar on Karaoke Night and sing? I would think that manager of yours would have you under lock and key."

Shuichi smiled. "I guess that is normally the case… but that night… I was unusually free that night… and I enjoy singing."

"Then why not be lead singer?"

Shuichi quickly looked up from the ground and scowled. "Why do you care?"

"Because a certain friend of mine does… and if I'm unable to fulfill a certain quest he has given me he'll make my life miserable."

Shuichi chuckled. "Reminds me of someone."

Yuki walked toward Shuichi, grabbing his chin. Gold met violet, and Shuichi couldn't help but blush from the closeness. "You don't look like the type of person to be a model." Shuichi scowled. "Well, don't get me wrong," continued Yuki as he smiled, "You do dress nice and look quite… intoxicating. But by the way you act… you seem more like an observer than someone who would flaunt their body or… say sing on stage."

Shuichi frowned. "Yeah, well who are you to judge me!" shouted Shuichi as he smacked Yuki's hand away. Yuki chuckled, making Shuichi fume even more. "You only just met me! And you know what! You come across as one of those guys who would sell their body's to pay for their condos in Florida!"

Yuki rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So you think I'm attractive?"

"When did you hear me say that?" shouted Shuichi, making Yuki even more amused.

"Well, I have to be pretty attractive in order to be able to pay for all my condos in Florida. Why else would people want my body? Unless I was talented…"

Shuichi groaned angrily as he pulled at his hair. "You are so-"

"Handsome? Stunning? Strong? Adoring?"

"Irritating is more like it!"

Yuki pinned Shuichi to the wall, smirking as he watched Shuichi's eyes widen with fear and… excitement? "And you know what I find more irritating? People who ignore their talents and interests and pursue other careers in order to please others. And then they complain about what they do for a living, blaming others for their stupidity! Now does that remind you of anyone, Shuichi?"

_He said my name… _Shuichi's heart stopped beating for a moment there. The warm breath coming from this man sent strange electric signals down his spine. Of course, most people said his name, but this… bastard… he didn't know why, but this man had a strange impact on him. He didn't answer, couldn't find a reason to doubt what this… stranger was telling him. _He does have a point, you know. The only thing stopping you now is Hideki._

"Well, it was nice talking to you, Shindou," Yuki announced as he crushed his cigarette to the wet ground and headed back inside.

Shuichi smiled. "Yes, it was nice…"

Yuki pulled out a chair and sat next to Tohma, crossing his arms smugly as he smirked at his friend. Tohma watched him through slit eyes, sipping on a glass of wine. "I take it smoking your cigarette went well?" he asked hesitantly.

"Very well," Yuki said curtly.

"What happened?"

"I met with Shuichi outside."

"And?" Tohma asked a little too quickly.

Yuki glanced at Tohma before answering. "He should be confronting you about the job offer soon. He might just start tomorrow…"

Tohma sat up, eyes wide. "Really? What'd you do? Bribe him?"

"No, we just talked."

Confusion was evident on Tohma's face. "Talked? Funny, I never imagined you as the social type."

"Shut up. I got you what you wanted, didn't I?"

Tohma sighed. "That still has yet to be proven."

"Don't worry. Any minute now he'll come right up to you and agree to-"

"I am soooooooo sorry everybody!" came a shout from the obnoxious Hideki. Everyone, once again, stopped their chattering and turned their attention to the idiotic manager. _He should have been a stage announcer, _thought Yuki as he scowled. "But _Shadow _is so very tired and is retiring for the night. He will, however, be back for the next bash. I wish you all a good night!"

Tohma turned toward Yuki, eyes dark as he stood up. Veins stuck out on his head angrily as he trembled. Yuki rolled his eyes. _Here it comes… _

"EIRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

**Alright! To make things clear... Hideki and Shuichi did not 'do it'! I thought i should just point that out. They were just doing a make out thingy it's just that Shuichi really didn't want to participate. Anyway!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! **


	4. Chapter 4

**So today i have to babysitt (which really sucks). They're all spoiled brats and i really don't want to! Not to mention i was also invited to see a concert with a group of friends tonight, but can i go? NOOOOOOOO! I have to babysitt! (I'm really pissed). So yeah, that's my life at this point. Hope you like the chapter...**

Chapter Three

"EIRI!" shouted Tohma as he stood from his desk.

Yuki had just entered the building when a rather scared secretary dragged him up the many stairs and pushed him into the office. Yuki took several gasps as he straightened his collar, sweat fell from his forehead. _I don't know why she just didn't take the elevator! Maybe it's time for me to quit smoking…_

"What did you do!"

Yuki walked forward casually and sat in the chair across from Tohma. "I don't know why you're so upset! He's just a kid. I wouldn't waste one more breath on him!"

Tohma's eyes grew wide. "You don't understand! I've put so much money into this band already! If I don't find a lead singer soon, I'll be losing a lot of money!"

Yuki waved him off. "I'm sure it's not that much, Seguchi. And why did you make a rash move like that, anyway? You're not like that."

Tohma scowled.

Yuki sighed. "Alright. So what did Hideki talk to you about?"

Tohma growled. "He came to tell me to give it up! That Shuichi is his. I don't think that man will allow _Shadow_ to be anywhere without him."

"You never know."

"AND YOU!" shouted Tohma as he pointed his finger at Yuki, making him wince. "While I was off battling the lion, you were off scaring away my lead singer! He won't even answer any of my phone calls! I'll be lucky if I ever see him again!"

"Mr. Seguchi?" came the secretary's voice from the speaker box.

"WHAT!"

"Mr. Sh-Shindou is here t-to s-see you."

Tohma's immediately widened as he straightened his collar. "Send him in."

The door opened and Shuichi appeared, wearing a simple dress shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. He smiled nervously as he closed the door. He noticed Yuki, and blushed, immediately moving his eyes downward and played with his fingers. "I-I hope I'm not i-interrupting anything."

Tohma smiled coolly and waved him over as he said, "Of course not. Eiri and I were just talking about you."

Yuki rolled his eyes. _Are you trying to scare him away, Tohma?_

Shuichi walked forward until he was standing by Yuki's side. Tohma scowled at Yuki, a message for him to offer Shuichi his seat. Yuki smirked as he placed his feet on his friend's desk, leaning back for emphasis. _Try that you bastard…_

"I'm sorry I left before I could answer you, Mr. Seguchi," started Shuichi, not quite meeting Tohma's eyes. "Yuki talked to me. He made me realize something about myself that I thought I had… rid myself of a long time ago. Before I had my answer set, but then I had to think about some things." Shuichi chuckled as he continued, "I even ran away from Hideki. He chased after the cab."

Tohma chuckled hesitantly while Yuki rolled his eyes. An image of Hideki chasing after Shuichi raced through their minds.

_Hideki: (Running after Shuichi) Come back, Darling! Can't we talk this over!_

_Shuichi: (Looking back in worry) STEP ON IT!_

_Hideki: SHUIIIICHIIII!_

"So I take it you've made a decision?" asked Tohma quickly, frowning at Yuki who was trying to stifle his laughter.

Shuichi nodded. "I would like to join Bad Luck, but I need to be sure this won't affect my modeling career. I'd like to be able to do both."

Tohma shook his head anxiously. "Nooooo! It won't affect your career with Hideki at all! May I ask what times you normally work?"

"In the morning. The photo shoot normally ends before noon. And then there is the occasional party and walk off."

Tohma nodded. "Alright. We'll schedule practices and performances around that."

Shuichi smiled. "Thank you, Mr. Seguchi. I suppose you want me to sign the papers now?"

Tohma nodded. "Of course. I'm sure if you ask _Mr. Uesugi_, he will gladly get up so you can sit."

Shuichi looked toward Yuki nervously, who in return crossed his arms angrily. Shuichi quickly looked away, blushing. "Oh, no! Its okay! I prefer standing, anyway!"

Tohma nodded hesitantly as he gave Shuichi the papers. "So I take it Hideki doesn't know you're here?"

Shuichi shook his head as he read the papers, with alarming speed. "He knows."

"Really?" asked Tohma, taken aback. "How'd you get him to agree to that?"

"How'd you get out of work?" asked Yuki at the same time.

Shuichi chuckled as he flipped another page. "I just told Hideki that I didn't want to go to work today." Yuki and Tohma's mouths dropped open, eyes wide. Shuichi didn't notice as he continued, "When Hideki asked why I just told him that I was going to see Mr. Seguchi about his offer."

"Did you tell him what your answer was?" asked Tohma, sure that Shuichi must have lied to him.

"Of course! I told him that I was quite sure that I was going to accept your offer!"

"And what did he say to that?"

Shuichi smiled as he looked up from the papers, sparkles in his eyes. "He said that I should do what is best for my career."

Yuki and Tohma fell to the ground while Shuichi sweat dropped. "That JERK!" came a shout from the floor.

Shuichi crouched to the ground and poked Tohma with the paper. "Um, Mr. Seguchi, I was wondering if we could discuss my contract now."

Tohma immediately sat up and flew into his chair at his desk, smile firmly in place. "What do you want to discuss?" asked Tohma as he set his elbows on his desk.

Shuichi put the papers on the desk. "Um, it says here that I'll be making 3,019,250 yen."

"Is there anything wrong with that?"

"Well, I've been doing some research and… um, isn't the average salary 9,057,750 yen for a lead vocalist?"

"Um, well…" Tohma looked toward Yuki for help, who just smirked smugly. _He's got you there Tohma. _"I guess... we can change that for you." Tohma quickly took out a pen, but before he could mark on the paper, Shuichi's voice interrupted him.

"Well, I'm famous already. So… I'm asking for 12,077,000 yen."

Tohma's mouth dropped to the desk and his eyes became wide while Yuki whistled. Before the president could say anything, Shuichi continued. "I know it's a lot of money, but just think how much money you'll be making from the gigs. A lot of fans love and adore me. And with my skills I'm sure they'll keep coming back for more."

"But-"

"But then again I will be putting in sooo much time, maybe I should reconsider," said Shuichi as he turned around and shrugged.

Tohma watched as Shuichi strutted to the door. _Just let him go, Tohma, _Tohma thought as his eye twitched._ It's too much money. You can get someone better, experienced, with a better- _"WAIT!" shouted Tohma anxiously, his hand extended as if it had some sort of power to make people stop.

And Shuichi did stop. He turned around slowly, evil smirk in place with those eyes filled with mischievousness. "Yes," he drawled out.

Tohma sighed before he answered, "How about 10,265,450 yen and double the vacations?"

"Will you pay for plain tickets?"

Tohma winced before he sadly answered, "Fine."

Shuichi walked toward the desk, waited for Tohma to add on the details, and signed every blank spot available. Finished, he handed the papers back and smiled happily. "It'll be nice working for you," said Shuichi as he shook hands with the president, who was temporarily dazed.

"Are you Shindou's lawyer in disguise?" asked Tohma as he studied Shuichi's face, making the model sweat drop.

Shuichi chuckled as he shook his head. "No. Though, I was getting a degree in that department before I moved here. I'm glad I didn't pursue that any further! I take it I begin tomorrow?"

Tohma nodded brusquely. "We start at two in the afternoon. You're band will be waiting for you in the lobby. You have a lot to catch up on so don't be late."

Shuichi nodded. "I shall do my best."

"Good. Oh, and Shuichi? Call me Tohma."

And with that, Shuichi gave his signature salute and strutted out of the room, leaving behind him the president to wallow in self pity.

"I don't know which one is the evil one!" shouted Tohma as he walked down the streets with Yuki, heading to a bar nearby. Ever since Shuichi had left the president had been complaining about all the money he's losing and wondering about which (Shuichi or Hideki) is the 'evil one'.

"Hideki is so… straight forward, yet extremely idiotic at times. Shindou looks so shy, yet he's extremely smart and… sly! Who would ever think that a sweet innocent boy like him could get me to agree to such high standards?"

Yuki rolled his eyes. _Will you please just SHUT UP! _"You're just getting old," Yuki answered before he took a drag from his cigarette.

"Old?"

"Yeah! He's 19, I'm 22. And you are…?"

Tohma frowned. "I think he must have noticed how desperate I was."

"A clear sign of old age."

"SHUT UP!"

Yuki shrugged. "Besides… I'm sure he'll make you a lot of money. If he's able to seduce you I'm sure he'll be able to seduce the crowd. And like he said, there are a lot of crazy fans out there."

Tohma looked over at Yuki, noticing how he smiled. "You like him, Eiri?"

"I never said that. Although, I'd be lying if I didn't think he was attractive."

Tohma smirked. "So… do you think he's the evil one?"

Yuki smirked. "The only one evil in this world is you, Tohma…"

**So i've looked at my hit list and like there are 936 people who have read some portion of my story. I would apreciate it so much if like 10 of you would please review my story. Even if it's crap. I don't mind flames, it's just that as the number of reviews rises the happier i get. And i'm really depressed that i can't go to the concert so pretty please... will you review? (place tear drop here).  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Since so many of you reviewed i decided to update chapter four right away! Although, that means chapter five isn't finished and it'll take me a while to update that, since now i am having a little bit of writer's block. But i have some other stories you might want to look at! I'm going to updating my FMA fanfic and my Advent Children fanfic as soon as possible! Oh! And i'm SSOOOOOO sorry for using the word "smirk" so often. I don't know why i like that word so much. That and "scowl"! Those are the two words i use a lot! I'll try to use other words. Anyway! Here's chapter four!**

Chapter Four

"Are you sure about doing this, Shuichi?" asked Hideki the next day. It was noon and Hideki had decided to take Shuichi out for lunch before his model's first day with the band. Like always, Shuichi ordered a Light Chicken Salad with some hot green tea while Hideki had himself a BBQ Sandwich with French fries and a coke.

Shuichi picked at his salad, not feeling particularly hungry that day. He smiled dully at Hideki as he answered, "I'm sure, Hideki."

Hideki sighed. "I'm just worried about what's going to happen when you embarrass yourself out on stage. And what if this entire thing fails? What will you do then?"

Shuichi just smiled. "Well, the contract is only for a year, just in case things don't go well. If I'm really good they'll extend it. And if this does fail, I'm still a model. It's not like I'm not going to be at work anymore, Hideki. I'll just be busy in the afternoons."

"And don't forget on the weekends and during breaks and at nights- Shuichi, you're not going to be able to do this. Even in my young years I would never imagine doing two careers at the same time. You'll lose energy."

Shuichi stood up as he laid down some money, his salad was barely eaten. "Never say never, Hideki!" He smiled brightly and waved before he left.

Hideki scowled. "We'll just see, Shindou."

Shuichi entered the building right at two. In the lobby he saw a red head with a guitar case, a green haired boy who was tapping his foot impatiently, and a blonde foreigner who was currently cleaning his gun. Shuichi sweat dropped. _Is this my band?_

Taking a deep breath, Shuichi walked towards the group. They immediately turned his way, there faces a mix of interest, anger, and… was that an evil smirk on the blonde's? Shuichi blushed as he smiled nervously. "Hello, I'm Shindou Shuichi! I'm sorry if I'm a little late. My clock must be slow."

"It's exactly five minutes slow," fumed the green haired boy as he scowled.

Shuichi chuckled nervously. "Sorry. I'll be sure to change that when I get home."

The red head dropped his guitar case onto the glossy floor as he held out his hand, saying, "I'm Nakano Hiroshi, but you can call me Hiro! It's good to finally meet you!"

Shuichi beamed as he shook hands with Hiro. "You can call me Shuichi!"

"I'm K, only K, and call my K, unless you want to call me Almighty God, then that's okay too," said the blonde foreigner as he directed his gun at Shuichi. "I'll be your manager. I'm sure you already realize Hiro will be your guitar player and Fujisaki Suguru, who thinks he's better than everyone else because he's Seguchi's cousin, will be your keyboardist. Now MOVE OUT!"

Shuichi jumped and hid behind Hiro, who merely chuckled in response. "Don't worry," said the red head. "He won't kill you. Maybe a few flesh wounds, though…" Shuichi nodded, yet it did little to calm his racing heart.

'K' led the way up the stairs towards the studio, followed by a scowling Fujisaki, an excited Hiro, and a trembling Shuichi. When they finally reached the studio K began directing orders, Hiro tuned his guitar, Fujisaki turned on his keyboard, and Shuichi stood there not knowing what to do.

"Alright," began K, "Shuichi, we have a very tight schedule and all the time you can offer is appreciated. Fujisaki and Hiro have already created some pretty good tunes; we just need you to write lyrics to them. For now, listen to Hiro and Fujisaki play, we'll be taping them. I want one song that **I**approve of before we head home."

Shuichi nodded brusquely. _God, what have I gotten myself into…?_

"So what have you come up with?" asked K as he took Shuichi's finished lyrics away and began reading them.

Shuichi fidgeted with his fingers as he blushed. "It's really just gibberish," Shuichi said quickly, feeling a little embarrassed for what he had just written. _I absolutely suck at writing. I need some sort of inspiration!_

"No. It's catchy," said K as he set the sheet back down, "I like it. If you can, write more at home. We need to release a record before we set up concert dates."

"Yeah, concerts are when we make the big bucks!" shouted Hiro as he punched the air with a fist.

"Yeah, but the more records we sell, the more concerts we play at," Fujisaki pointed out as he crossed his arms.

K nodded at the two and then turned to Shuichi. "But in your next lyrics, have a theme. These are good, but if they're all like this the fans will get bored. It's best to have a variety."

Shuichi nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow Shindou. If you can start any earlier than two, that'll be most appreciated."

Shuichi opened the door and trudged in. Throwing his trench coat onto a couch nearby, he made his way towards the kitchen and grabbed an apple from the counter. His wet hair hung in his face as he checked his caller ID, hands pale from the cold. _Ten messages… It's all Hideki again. _Shuichi quickly pressed play and leaned against the counter casually, dark circles obvious now as his head leaned back lazily.

"Hi Shuichi! It's Hideki! I wanted to call to inform you that I scheduled the walk off for this Saturday. Call me back if you have any issues with that! Bu-Bye!" _Beep!_

"Hey Shuichi! Guess who? I just saw this puppy in the pet store and it reminded me sooooo much of you! So cute… anyway, maybe we can check it out sometime together?" _Beep!_

"Shuichi, I just figured out that I'm not a Virgo! I'm a Leo! Ain't that just bizarre? Anyway, just thought you'd like to know." _Beep!_

"Hey Shuichi! Wanna go out for dinner tonight?" _Beep!_

"Oh! I just remembered you don't get off until late tonight! Too bad… Call me back!" _Beep!_

"Hey Shuichi, I was just reading this magazine… do you think that Nana Misa is a threat?" _Beep!_

"Shuichi! You need to quit! I miss you!" _Beep!_

"Hi Shuichi! It's Hideki again! What time are you going to be off work? I thought it was going to be eight, but you're not back yet, so I guess not! Call me when you get home. See-ya!" _Beep!_

"Shuichi! If you're going to be home this late for now on I demand you quit now! This is no way they should treat someone as professional as you! Keeping you out so late. Bah! If you're not back before midnight I'm go-"_Beep!_

"I'm going to march over to NG Studios and teach that Tohma a lesson he'll never forget! Call me when you get home! I'm getting worried." _Beep!_

"There are no more messages," the answering machine said.

Shuichi sighed. _It's only nine! Does he think my bedtime is 8:30? Better call him back before he does something reckless. _The phone rings just when he reaches for it. Shuichi turned toward the caller ID and sighed when he saw who it was.

Picking up the phone Shuichi answers dully, "Yes, Hideki?"

"Shuichi!" a worried voice shouted through the phone. "You were supposed to call me back!"

Shuichi closed his eyes as a hand came up to rub one of his temples. "I just got back."

"What time do they let you off?"

"Eight, but I stayed behind to work on some lyrics. I have the cassettes on me. I need to finish the lyrics for Monday."

"That only leaves you three days! Do you want me to-"

"No!" Shuichi shouted harshly, his eyes snapping open. He sighed quickly, trying to calm himself. "No it's fine. I can handle it. Is there anything else you need?"

"No. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye…"

Shuichi quickly hung up and slammed the phone down. Taking in some deep gasps, he braced himself against the counter; sweat pouring from his forehead, the apple in his hand fell to the floor. _You didn't eat much today…_ His stomach gurgled in response and Shuichi slammed his head down on the table. _Remember! Self control… not like last time. _Shuichi looked towards the apple on the floor. _Apple… healthy. Eat the apple… no… come on, you don't want it to be like last time… what if I do… what if I do? No! Hideki will be ma- Screw Hideki! I need real food… good food… FOOD!_

Shuichi yelled suddenly as he opened all of his cabinets, digging through, trying to find something hidden all the way in the back. He threw out the salt, pepper, food coloring, potatoes, crackers, and anything else that was in his way. Finally Shuichi found what he was looking for. He smiled, his eyes filled with bright sparkles as he snatched the item. "Strawberry Pokey!"

Shuichi ripped open the box and started shoving the tasty sticks into his mouth, licking his fingers. When the box was gone he grabbed some chocolate icing from the refrigerator and started eating that with strawberries and peanut butter. A bag of cookies was hidden underneath the couch, which he quickly grabbed. Ice cream in the garage, cookie dough in his sock drawer, apple pie in the bathroom, Oreo cookies in the cushions, potato chips in the laundry basket, and gummy bears in the closet!

Shuichi, crouching on the kitchen floor, crammed every crumb of junk food into his mouth, swallowing it down with a jug of milk. He moaned as he ate, licking the chocolate and salt off of his fingers. Whip cream and chocolate poured into his mouth, some of the chocolate getting on his face and neck. Shuichi closed his eyes as he stuck an Oreo cookie covered in peanut butter into his mouth. _It's so good… so good…_

Shuichi threw up, tears streaking his cheeks. _Told you! You should have more self control. If you get fat you can't be a model! You better not let Hideki find out! _Shuichi shook his head frantically. His eyes were wide, sweat rolling off of his body into little pools on the floor. _Your parents were right. You really are worthless._ He nodded as he stuck his finger into his mouth again, throwing up as he sobbed. _Yes, I am worthless… I can't do anything right. I hurt myself… and I hurt Hideki. _Blood ran down the length of his arms, smearing onto the bathroom floor.

_No more… _"I think that's all I had," he muttered as he sat up slowly. _No! _Shuichi grabbed at his ears as the voice pierced through his mind, groaning pathetically. _You're not trying hard enough. Look at yourself! You're such a fatso! There's more of that vile fat inside of you! Can't you feel it? Inside of us…_ Shuichi nodded hesitantly, sticking his finger into his mouth. _I really am worthless…_

**Okay! I'm going to let you in on a little secret! Well... maybe it's not a secret... Oh well! Anyway, i was originally planning making Hideki be a good guy, like Shuichi's best friend or something like that. But then, where would the plot be?**

**The more you review the quicker i'll update!- teehee **_  
_


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm back! Sorry about taking forever! I got writers block! There may be a few mistakes, but i wanted to update this story for you guys as soon as possible! Anyway, here's ch. 5!**

Chapter Five

Shuichi stood on the scale again, his eyes closed as he crossed his fingers. _Please, don't say I've gained weight. I'll be good for now on. No more sweets! I'll throw them all away after this. Just please don't tell me that I've gained weight!_

Shuichi slowly looked down at the scale. 116. Shuichi's eyes widened in horror. _A pound… I gained a pound. Hideki is going to be mad. _With that thought there was a knock at the door. Shuichi quickly dressed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. The person became more persistent and started pounding, making Shuichi rub his temples to ease the ache in his head. He opened the door to reveal none other than Hideki.

The smile fell from Hideki's face as he took in the disheveled hair, dark circles, and pale face that made up Shuichi. Shuichi closed his eyes against the intruding light, making him groan in response. "Hideki… what are you doing here?"

Hideki shook his head as he entered the little house/apartment. "Never mind that, were you up all night working on your lyrics?"

Shuichi slowly closed the door, his eyes just barely cracked open. "No," he croaked as he moved towards the couch.

"Hey! What's this?" Hideki asked as he held up a box of pokey from the floor.

Shuichi quickly looked away, groaning as he ran his hands through his greasy hair. Hideki's eyebrows furrowed as he noticed wrappers of Twinkies, an empty ice cream bucket, an empty bottle of chocolate syrup, and as he turned he noticed a path of wrappers and empty containers that led from the kitchen towards the bathroom.

Hideki turned back to Shuichi. He walked towards him until he was staring down at the aching boy, who was currently rubbing his head. "You binged… didn't you?" asked Hideki softly.

Shuichi slowly nodded, refusing to meet Hideki's gaze as his eyes filled with tears.

"How much did you gain?"

Shuichi looked up, his eyes showing his hesitance. "A… pound…"

Hideki stood up. Shuichi's eyes followed him, worry filling him as he stared up at his manager dark expression. "I stood up all night…! I tried so hard…"

Hideki looked away and Shuichi lowered his head in shame. Everything was quiet for what seemed like eternity, tears streaking Shuichi's cheeks. He sobbed softly as he wiped at his tears and sniffled.

"It's alright, Shuichi," Hideki finally said, making Shuichi look up at him. The look of relief and guilt on Shuichi's face made Hideki sigh. "It could have been worse. I'm proud that you worked so hard to lose all that weight."

Shuichi nodded as he wiped his eyes, his face red and blotchy. "I'm sorry, Hideki. I don't know what came over me. I was just…" Shuichi couldn't finish the sentence. He began sobbing again and he couldn't fight the new tears that gathered at his eyes. Shuichi covered his face, ashamed that he was having his emotional breakdown in front of his manager.

Hideki sat down next to him, wrapping his arms around the frail boy and pulling him onto his lap. Shuichi stiffened, trying to silence the sobs. He kept his gaze on his lap as Hideki fiddled with his hair and nipped at his ear.

"You know, even if you are fat, Shuichi, I'll always love you," breathed Hideki as his fingers lightly skimmed over Shuichi's neck. "You'll always have me."

Shuichi nodded. _But what if I don't want you…?_

Lips gently brushed over Shuichi's temple as Hideki pressed him to his chest. The lips slowly made their way down to his neck, biting and looking while hands squeezed at the insides of his thighs. A lone tear escaped from Shuichi's eyes as Hideki continued his assault with his hands and lips.

"Please, stop," whispered Shuichi, closing his eyes.

Hideki moved away, his expression a mix of confusion and sorrow. He grabbed Shuichi's chin and forced him to look into his eyes. "What's wrong with you, Shuichi? Do you enjoy hurting the ones who love you?"

_I don't mean to… _Shuichi met Hideki's eyes. "I don't feel well… I never feel anything… nothing but..." Shuichi pulled away, his gaze slipping to his lap once again. "I feel like I'm shattering… into millions of pieces."

Hideki sighed. "I think it's time for your medicine. You'll feel better once you take it."

Shuichi nodded, opening his mouth and feeling the cold pill slip down his throat. _Hideki always has the answer…_

The music was loud as the lights flashed over the darkness, people jumping and dancing. The air smelled of sweat and beer, the humidity weakening. Amongst the crowd, Shuichi danced, his hair soaked and his body glistening with sweat. Hideki danced behind him, his hands on the boy's hips swaying to the beat provocatively.

The model's hands were in the air, eyes closed as he groaned softly, feeling his manager press against him; hands ran through his hair, lips placing feathery kisses on his jaw. Shuichi's head leaned back in ecstasy, his eyes becoming half lidded and staring up at the bright lights, eyes clouded and dull with a silly grin plastered onto his face.

Hot breath breathed into his ear, making shivers run up and down his spine. "Shuichi," Hideki breathed before kissing his neck.

Shuichi sighed softly, his mouth parted slightly in bliss, hands running up and down his body, caressing his sweating skin. _The lights are so bright… so beautiful…_"Yes," Shuichi answered, giggling as he twirled away from his manager.

Hideki smirked as he strutted towards the model through the crowd. He grabbed Shuichi harshly, pulling him close. Shuichi gasped as Hideki nibbled on his ear, his hands roaming down to caress the model's tight behind. "Wanna go somewhere?" whispered Hideki.

Shuichi's eyes closed tightly, his lips quivering. "Where?"

Shuichi groaned as Hideki sucked at his prey's neck, his fingers playing with the waistband. "The ally…" Hideki breathed, making shivers run up and down Shuichi's back.

Shuichi's eyes cracked open, gold becoming visible in the distance. He cocked his head, taking in the blonde hair and the cigarette. The man becoming more and more familiar. _Golden eyes… Where have I seen those golden eyes…?_

"Shuichi?" Hideki asked, the manager suddenly sounding worried. "Are you alright?"

Shuichi nodded. "I'm fine…"

Hideki frowned. "I'm going to get something to drink. Stay here."

Shuichi nodded, his gaze never leaving the gold eyed beauty who was slowly heading his way. He turned away and continued dancing with the crowd, his eyes closing and his body concentrating on the beat of the music. _Let him come…_Shuichi jumped as arms encircled him from the behind, warmth enveloping him. _Hideki…?_

"What are you doing here?" the harsh voice whispered in his ear.

Shuichi shivered, smirking softly as he tilted his head to rest on the man's shoulder. _No… not Hideki… gold eyed cutey…_His arms raised above his head and around the man's head, playing with his blonde locks. "Dancing," he answered simply, his voice ragged. "You're so warm…" Shuichi turned around and snuggled against the man's chest, inhaling the sweet scent. "And you smell so nice…"

The man didn't say anything, golden eyes watching as the model fiddled with the buttons to his trench. "Is anything wrong?"

The model sighed. "No…" He giggled as he patted at his cheek.

The man lifted an eyebrow. "What's wrong with you?"

The model suddenly lifted his head, eyes dilated. "Absolutely nothing! Everything is fine! I've gained a pound, I skipped work, and Hideki thinks I'm fat! Everything is A- okay!" Shuichi laughed hysterically, tears falling from the sad eyes. Confusion came over his face, his eyes looking around wildly his hands trembling violently.

Shuichi pushed himself away from the gold eyed stranger, suddenly becoming fearful. _They hate me… they're all laughing at me… me! You're not good enough. Why would they like you anyway? You have no talent. It's just like what he said, you are nothing!_ "I know," whispered Shuichi, his hands clamped over his ears as he bent over, eyes closed, fighting back the tears that kept falling. _Why should Hideki keep you? He should drop you! Gaining weight… After all he's done for you! You are filth…_ Shuichi nodded, sobbing as he dropped to his knees, nails digging into his head and latching onto his hair. "I am nothing…"

**A little short i know, but i'll update as soon as i can! Please review! The more reviews i get the quicker i'll update!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi! I'm back! Sorry for once again taking forever. I was going to make this chapter a little longer, but i didn't want you guys to wait another two or three days so... here it is! Hope you like!**

Chapter Six

He opened his eyes to the blinding rays of the sun. His vision was blurred as he stared at the sparkles that radiated off of the crystal wind chime. _Such beautiful lights, _thought Shuichi, his eyes half lidded, looking drowsy and distorted. A white blanket covered his frail body while soft pillows surrounded his entire body. Shuichi smiled softly as he snuggled close to the warm western bed. _It's so warm…_

His eyes lifted and came upon a man turned away from him, staring out through the window, his hair golden. Shuichi gasped as he stared at the beauty in front of him, his eyes widening in shock once he realized that he wasn't in his bed, or his room. He sat up and tried to straighten his hair, combing through it with his fingers. A light blush staining his cheeks as he glanced over at the blonde once again. _It's him! The man… I'm in his room! And wearing… his pajamas! What happened last night? How did I get here? Did I… did we…? _Shuichi's blush darkened as certain images came to mind.

The man turned around, goofy smile in place. Shuichi quickly looked up at the man, excited to finally see the one he had met at the banquet, yet as he stared at the man his expression swiftly became a mixture of disappointment and misery.

"Shuichi!" shouted Hideki cheerfully as he walked toward the bed, his blond hair bouncing, looking strange around his face. "You're awake! I was wondering when you were going to wake up."

Shuichi turned away, his disappointment overwhelming. Tears filled his eyes as he knotted the blanket angrily. _I must control myself. I am fine. There is nothing wrong. I'm just tired and stressed. This will all past… _Shuichi sniffed as he quickly wiped at his eyes, Hideki oddly quiet as he did this. "What happened last night?"

Hideki sat down on the bed and pulled Shuichi close to him, his back colliding against the blonde's bare chest. Shuichi sighed as the other ran his fingers through his hair, stopping briefly to feel his sweaty forehead. "You have a slight fever," said Hideki, right before he kissed Shuichi's neck.

Shuichi rubbed his head wearily, his eyes closing briefly. "Of course I do," he muttered angrily. "Not to mention I have lyrics to write, a performance to prepare for, a photo shoot, and a walk off this weekend!"

Hideki was silent for a moment, running his fingers through Shuichi's hair, leaving feathery kisses on his slender neck. He sighed into his friend's ear, sending shivers down Shuichi's back. "You haven't said anything about my hair, Shuichi."

"I noticed you dyed it blonde. Why?"

Hideki smiled mischievously. "I needed a change. Do you like it?"

Shuichi smiled softly, his eyes looking out the window, watching a bird bathe itself in a fountain in the park. He sighed, relaxing within Hideki's hold on him. Some hair fell over Hideki's eyes and into Shuichi's gaze. His smile grew as he stroked the strands. "You reminded me of someone," he breathed.

Hideki chuckled as he removed his hair from Shuichi's grasp. "Oh? Was this someone a past lover? Is he well known? Do I know him? Who is it?"

Shuichi shook his head drowsily, the soft smile still in place. "It's no one. Just a little crush I developed a while back. Nothing too important. He probably doesn't even remember me."

Hideki quickly turned Shuichi around, lips capturing his forcefully, his tongue thrusting inside. He pulled Shuichi closer until he was crushed against his chest. "I can pretend to be the one you want," murmured Hideki as he kissed him again, this time his hands slowly unbuttoning the other's shirt, moaning as he pressed himself against the model.

Shuichi' eyes widened as he felt Hideki through his pajama bottoms, a mix of fear and shock. He pushed harshly against Hideki's shoulders, trying to break the kiss and distance himself. _Oh not again! Please not again! Make it stop… _Finally, he broke away, gasping hard as Hideki attacked his neck, biting harshly and sucking. Shuichi focused on the park outside the window, his eyes glazing over. _Please… make it end…_

The telephone rang, making Hideki stop his assault. He looked into Shuichi's eyes, questioningly. Shuichi sighed, rubbing his head groggily, the ringing giving him a headache. "Aren't you going to answer that?" he asked softly, not meeting his manager's eyes.

Hideki scowled and removed himself from the bed. He walked over towards the phone on the night stand and snatched it. "What?" he barked into the receiver.

"Is Shuichi there?" a timid voice asked, sounding feminine.

Hideki's eyebrows furrowed, looking confused. _Why does she want Shuichi? This is my place... unless... _"How'd you get this number?"

"Well I… um… you know… uh… is Shuichi there? I really need to talk to him."

Hideki sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "And who is this again?" he asked, sounding bored.

"H-his s-sister…" the girl stuttered out.

Hideki raised an eyebrow as he turned toward Shuichi. "Hold on a sec," he said quickly as he covered the phone. He turned toward Shuichi. "Shuichi, it's your sister."

Shuichi groaned as he leaned back against the headboard, head hitting the wall. "Tell her that I'm currently busy."

"Shuichi doesn't want to talk to you." Shuichi sent a scowl in Hideki's direction as the manager smirked.

"Please… i-it's important…" she replied.

"She says it's important."

"Tell her to leave a voicemail!" Hideki stared at Shuichi, watching as the model's temper was slowly reaching the boiling point.

"It's about father!" his sister shouted, making Hideki have to remove the phone from his ear.

"It's about your dad."

Shuichi whirled on Hideki, fire in his eyes. Hideki cringed as Shuichi sat up in bed. "Well, **YOU **can remind her that the damn bastard disowned me!"

Hideki nodded.

"Father is dying!" his sister shouted, loud enough for Shuichi to hear.

Shuichi stood up, his expression becoming worried. He took the phone and leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath before he said softly, "Make this quick. I'm busy."

There was a sigh on the other end and a few sniffles. _She's crying… she makes me feel worthless. But they all do anyway…_ "Father has cancer."

Shuichi scratched his head, becoming uneasy. "How long does he have?"

"Not long… a year at most. The doctor says that it's one of their worst cases. If only he hadn't smoked so much."

"I guess… Is he in the hospital?" asked Shuichi, his worry growing.

"They let him go home yesterday." There was an awkward silence. Shuichi didn't know what to say. It had been awhile since he had spoken with his sister and even when they did used to talk they never gotten along well. "Look, Shuichi," began his sister, suddenly sounding serious. "The reason why I called you… Father wishes for a family meeting. He wants you there."

Shuichi chuckled scornfully, sneering. "So that he can announce to the entire family that I'm a worthless faggot. Or that I'm not on the will. Or maybe he wants to apologize for how cruel he had been to me when I was just a child before my 'coming out'," added Shuichi sarcastically.

"Shuichi-"

"I have to go. You know, modeling to do, music to make. Worthless things, right?"

"Please don't go, Shuichi!"

"You don't understand, dear **big sister**! Here, everybody loves me! I am worshipped! Everyone wants to be me! I have money. I can get whatever… whomever I want! So why would I ever want to go back to **that **family. To **that **man. You all are nothing to me!"

"You know… for a man that has made it so great, you are the saddest of us all."

Shuichi's eyes widened as his grip tightened on the phone, his face turning red and his expression a mixture of anger, terror, and misery. He slammed the phone down on the charger, hanging up.

Hideki, who had been sitting on the bed, stood up, looking confused and worried. "What happened?" he asked as he watched his friend run his hands through his hair several times.

Shuichi shook his head. "I have to go." He said as he dug through Hideki's dresser, grabbing a pair of jeans and a black shirt. He slipped into the clothes quickly and slipped on his shoes from the other night.

"Shuichi you haven't even taken a shower!"

Shuichi ignored him as he walked out of the bedroom, Hideki following. "Shuichi, don't go! You're sick! Come back to the bedroom. Tell me what happened!"

_No, _thought Shuichi, _because even if I were to explain it to you… you would never understand…_ Shuichi walked out the door, ignoring Hideki's calls. _Would you even care…?_

**Please review! And i'll try to update quicker!**_  
_


	8. Chapter 8

** Okay! Today is April 6 so tomorrow will be my birthday (april 7). I'll be 17! Yay for me! So i wanted to update a Chapter for you guys since it is/will be my B-day (depends on when you read this). So enjoy!**

Chapter 7

It was raining. The clouds were a depressing grayish blue, sagging from the sky as if they wanted to connect with the ground. The thunders roared overhead while the steam, lifting from the hot ground, blocked the views of drivers and pedestrians. The wind blew hard, making the rain feel like ice cold blades as they pierced through the skin. The feeling could be chilling and unpleasant, yet intoxicating at the same time.

At least, one Eiri Yuki thought so as he stared out the window of the café, listening to the _pitter patter_ the little raindrops made as they connected to the glass and watching as people bustled about, wearing their trenches and holding onto their umbrellas as another gust of wind was thrown their way. The cars honking and the spray of water splashing onto the side walk as a car sped by. He took a drag from his cigarette, casually blowing out the smoke afterwards.

His eyes narrowed as a man and woman bumped into each other. The two smiled and talked a little, ignoring the fact that it was, presently, pouring outside and they were currently getting soaked. She laughed and handed him a piece of paper, he smiled with satisfaction, and then they eventually walked off together, making the novelist roll his eyes. _Man bumps into woman in the rain, woman apologizes to man, and man offers to take her out to dinner for "accidentally" bumping into her and getting her wet only to afterwards have loveless sex and kick her out of his apartment only to have her come running back and smacking him around for- haven't I written something like this before? Come on people! You're supposed to give me something new to write! Not the same damn thing... _

A dark haired boy ran in front of his view, not wearing or holding anything to obstruct the rain's attack. His skin was pale, contrasting with the darkness of the atmosphere, giving off a ghost-like appearance. He stood in front of Yuki's view, back facing his way. The boy looked around anxiously, his hands running up and down the length of his arms in a fruitless attempt to warm himself. He shouted for a taxi, but none stopped and one splashed water onto his already soaked jeans.

Eiri watched the boy as he sipped on his bitter coffee, the wheels in his writer's mind turning with inspiration. _If it wasn't for his stick frame and his masculine voice, he could pass off as a girl. A girl without a home… stumbles upon… hmmm… a rich bachelor would sound too cliché, the plot line has been used too many times… taxi driver? No… she can't get a taxi… doctor? _Yuki scowled as his own doctor came into mind. _'Stop smoking!'_ shouted the old geezer inside his head as he smacked the poor writer on his noggin. _I think not. I'll figure it out later… I'm sure the readers could care less what his profession is as long as he's attractive… _

Yuki looked away from the boy when the waitress came by, leaving the bill on his table. She smiled and winked at him than walked away, swaying her hips hypnotically. Yuki shook his head at her then looked down at the bill, only to find her name, address, and phone number amongst the papers. _Doesn't anyone work these days? I swear, work is just an excuse to pick up dates. _He stood up quickly as he left some cash on the table and put the girl's phone number in his trench pocket for safe keeping. _Just in case I lose inspiration again… _ He walked out of the café, pulling his long trench closer to his body as another gust of wind blew his way, trying to see through the rain. The boy stood out front still, shivering as the rain drops came down on his damp hair. His clothes clung painfully to his skin and Eiri couldn't help but feel some pity for the boy when he let out a raspy cough and gasped for breath

Yuki sighed as he looked up at the heavens. _Why me? _He then walked closer towards the boy. "Hey kid," he began, but stopped when the boy whirled around. The boy looked up at the blonde, violet eyes wide with recognition. Yuki stopped taking in those eyes, a mixture of anger, despair, and confusion. _I know those eyes…_

"Yuki," the boy whispered as he slowly backed away.

_He remembers me? From last night… He looks ill. Why is he out here in the cold? Where is his damn manager? _Before Yuki could even let out another word the boy whirled around and ran away, hunched over as if he couldn't breathe well. Yuki's eyes softened as he watched the boy desperately try to get away.

"_Shuichi…"_

_How could I be so stupid! _Shuichi covered his ears as he ran through the rain which was pouring down harder and harder, making it difficult to see through the haze. He pushed pass people, not caring that he was running through puddles and getting his feet soaked, damaging his new eighty dollar tennis shoes. His vision blurred and he tripped, but grabbed onto the grey wall beside him to stop himself from falling, scraping his fingernails against the brick causing his nails to break and his fingers to bleed. He cried out in pain, but nothing could be heard through the storm.

He turned into an alley, leaning his head against the wall as he looked up at the sky and watched the angry dark clouds move against each other, the rain hitting his face and rolling off of his skin, looking like tears. His body slipped limply to the ground, his arms wrapping around himself as he sobbed softly, the pain and illness overcoming him. _He could never care for me. I am nothing… My sister is right. Even if I have the love of the world, I will never truly be happy…_

"But he did recognize me," he whispered, his lips lifting slightly in an eerie smile. "He remembers…"

_He was probably shocked by how horrible you looked. You ran away from him… How pathetic! _

"He looked so worried."

_Only because you look like a psycho. I bet you're make-up is smeared. You never bothered to wash your face before you walked out on Hideki. That man does everything for you and all you do is cause him more pain and distress._

"I don't love Hideki."

_You don't love anyone, but yourself. That's why you're always lonely. People hate you and yet you still think you have a chance to make things better. You'll never be loved. You might as well get the deed done now._

Shuichi looked down at his bleeding fingers, staring at the crimson that dripped slowly down the length of his spectral arms. The liquid felt so warm against the cold, so beautiful compared to the dark world he lived in from day to day. He closed his eyes as he brought his finger to his lips, tasting the sweet liquid. _I would love to see my body drenched in my own blood. _A shiver went up Shuichi's spine as he saw an image of his body, broken and lifeless on his apartment's carpet, blood staining white. _Only then, will I look truly beautiful and be loved. _

He felt something warm and soft surrounding his body, taking away the bitter cold he had come accustomed to. _Has God finally come to take me away? Or maybe the devil to bring me back home? _Shuichi groaned as he felt himself being lifted, suddenly feeling uncomfortably warm. _Why is it so hot? Have the fires of hell overwhelming me? _Shuichi opened his eyes, his vision blurred and his head spinning. _So… dizzy… _He looked up at the person presently caring him, their faces were so close. And when the blurriness of his vision faded, Shuichi blushed crimson.

_Golden eyes…_

**Review please! -**_  
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	9. Chapter 9

** Alright! So here's chapter eight! Sorry for the long wait. The SAT's are drawing near and the school projects have been piling up (due to my procrastination). But not all is lost! I just got Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children! Now i can die happy... Anyway, chapter eight! -**

Chapter Eight

His eyes opened slowly, light pouring into view. Rain drops tapped lightly at the window. A white blanket covered his form as he lay on soft pillows. The room was plain, nothing decorated the ashen walls. The carpet was just as pale. A closet was across from him, a silver bar holding its contents which mainly consisted of suits and nice white shirts, all neatly ironed and color coded. Black shoes were aligned neatly on the floor, starting from biggest to smallest.

Shuichi turned around, now facing the ceiling. He lifted up the blanket and his eyes widened when he looked down and realized he wasn't wearing his clothes. No. Instead he was wearing a rather large white shirt. Only a white shirt. And it seemed to be just long enough to cover his bottom. The sleeves were far too long and the buttons that went up the front didn't help to keep the shirt on his small frame.

Shuichi removed his gaze from his attire and settled on the ceiling, studying it. His eyes narrowed in annoyance. Just like the rest of the room, it was white. Plain. Bland. _Boring! Where the hell am I? Why am i not in my room? Where are the Nittle Grasper posters and Kumogoro plushies? Did I pass out again? Am I being held hostage by a potential rapist? _Shuichi paled at that thought and quickly pushed it to the side. _I guess I shouldn't really be complaining about my living quarters... at least I'm out of the rain! And not in Hideki's condo, _he added as an after thought. _But exactly where is my savior… or kidnapper? You'd think he'd be worried about me. Or worried that I'd escape…_

As if on cue the door was opened by a blonde carrying a bowl of soup and a glass of water making Shuichi jump as he brought the blanket up to cover his face. Shuichi slowly lowered the blanket when the door closed and immediately came into contact with golden eyes. Shuichi's eyes widened as he flushed a bright red. They stared at one another, regarding each other quietly. _It's him! It's really him! _Shuichi's mind screamed. _He looks so… handsome. _Shuichi quickly looked away at that thought and focused on the blanket. _Those eyes… is he still staring at me? Does he find me foolish? Was he the one who- who undressed me! _

The blonde pulled a chair in the corner towards the bed and sat down next to Shuichi. He swirled the silver spoon in the soup and carefully brought it up and towards Shuichi. "Here," he said lightly. "Eat."

Shuichi turned toward the man, his eyes staring at him with surprise and his heart skipping a few beats. _Am I ill? I feel so light headed. My heart… it's beating so quickly… as if I'm flying. He's worried about me. He's going to feed me… I… Is this some cruel dream? Does he really like me? **No. He's not gay. Unlike you. You're just a pawn in his game. **_Shuichi ignored his thoughts and leaned forward, opening his mouth for the spoon's entrance and then swallowing afterwards. He thin took a sip from the glass. Yuki lifted another spoon toward Shuichi, but the model shyly waved it away.

Yuki set the bowl and spoon onto the night stand. "It doesn't seem your fever has died down at all," the blonde said. "You're still as red as a tomato."

Shuichi flushed even more.

The blonde scowled at the model, suddenly becoming mad. "You baka! Running in the rain like that! If I hadn't found you when I did you'd probably be off to the emergency room by now!"

Shuichi removed his gaze from the beautiful blonde and fixed his gaze on the blanket. "I-I'm sorry… Yuki," Shuichi mumbled. He blushed even more when he said the man's name. _My face feels so hot! If I blush any more my head might go up in flames._

A cool hand rested on his forehead bringing him back to reality. Shuichi looked up at Yuki, feeling dizzy all of a sudden. Yuki sighed as he ran his fingers through the model's hair, Shuichi leaning as much into the caress as he could. _My face… it feels so hot… _Shuichi brought a hand to his head as Yuki's touch left.

"You're burning up," Yuki said as he shook his head. "Baka…" Yuki quickly left the room, carrying the bowl and glass with him.

Shuichi watched him leave, tears close to falling. _He left. Is he mad at me? **Shows how much he cares for you. **He'll be back. **Are you so sure? Does anyone ever come back? **_Shuichi sat back on the bed, tears rolling down his cheeks as he nestled into the pillows. _Why do you have to be so mean?_

_

* * *

_

"**Okay. So explain this to me again?" **asked Tohma.

Yuki sighed. _Why did I even bother to call the bastard? I'm sure he'd realize the absence of his lead singer eventually. _"I found Shuichi out on the streets. He has a temperature. I'm taking care of him. His idiot manager isn't around. Is that simple enough for your little mind to comprehend?"

"**Its fine, Eiri. I'm just trying to figure out HOW THE HELL WE'RE GOING TO FINISH RECORDING BEFORE THE DEADLINE!" **There were gunshots in the background on the other line.

Yuki raised an eyebrow. "Is K in the room with you?"

Tohma sighed into the phone. **"Unfortunately.** **So how long do you think it's going to take him to recover?"**

Yuki shrugged. "A week at most. He has a high fever, but I'm sure a few days of rest will bring it down quickly."

Another sigh came from the other end. **"Alright. Keep watch over him. I'm leaving him in your care. You might want to tell Hideki what happened, but don't let that bastard take Shuichi away. That man… I don't feel right leaving Shindou in his care. There's something about him…"**

Yuki smirked. "Been looking through Hideki's files lately?"

"**Something like that... Oh! And Yuki, you might want to stay away from the studio for a while. K is on a rampage. He may very well blow a hole through your head next time he sees you."**

Yuki chuckled. "Thanks for the warning."

"**I'll probably come over there tonight or tomorrow morning to check up on Shindou. Until then-"**

Yuki hung up the phone. _Why does that man always enjoy intruding in on my life? _He sighed as he walked up the stairs and opened the door to his bedroom. Shuichi lay there, sleeping soundly with his mouth open and drool smearing onto the pillow he was currently hugging. His face was stark white, dark circles underneath his eyes, and the purple lips didn't add to his complexion. The black hair that framed his face gave him a gothic look.

_He looks like the walking dead. Why was he even in the rain to begin with? _Yuki wondered to himself as he watched the mysterious beauty. _Last night… What was wrong with him? His eyes… it was as if he were unable to see. His body was so clammy… right now he looks so thin. Does Hideki have him on something? Is Shuichi-_

(Flashback)

_Shuichi vomited on the floor, his hands wrapped around his stomach as he heaved up the contents. Yuki watched with horror as Shuichi cried, the people around them backing away, giving them weird looks. Shuichi pounded at his head, yelling obscenities. His body was shivering. "Shuichi-"started Yuki reaching towards the boy._

"_Shuichi!" shouted Hideki as he came up from behind Yuki. He pushed past him and crouched down to pull the model up._

_Yuki watched with horror. Hideki was so harsh with him. He yanked Shuichi up by his hair and yelled into his ear, "How could you be so fxxxing stupid! You took too much, damn it! You're so stupid!" Hideki pulled Shuichi by his ear towards the exit._

_Yuki chased after the two and grabbed hold of Shuichi's arm. Shuichi looked up at him. His eyes wide and his mouth open, lips moving, but nothing coming out. "Shuichi are you all-"_

"_Stay away from him!" shouted Hideki as he pushed Yuki away. Shuichi's hand was slowly being tugged away. The poor boy was trying to hang on for as long as possible. "Let go, damn it!" shouted Hideki as he gave one final tug, dragging Shuichi away from him. Shuichi looked back at Yuki, his eyes never wandering away from him._

_His violet eyes were crying._

(End Flashback)

Yuki frowned as a vision of Shuichi's face that night entered his mind's eye. _He was in shock. I don't think he could breathe! He was having a hard time standing. Hideki had to practically carry him out of the building. He was trembling so violently… And he was looking at me. He was trying to say something, but Hideki kept getting in the way… He looked so sad._

Suddenly, a ringing noise that sounded like the Wicked Witch of the West Theme went off in his pocket. Shuichi suddenly became awake, his groggy eyes immediately looking around for the device that was making the noise, suddenly becoming paranoid. Yuki took it out of his pocket and handed the black cell phone to the model. Shuichi answered the phone without even looking at the caller I.D.

"Hello, Hideki," he croaked, sounding annoyed.

"**WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"** Hideki shouted loud enough for Yuki to hear.

Shuichi closed his eyes as he took the phone away from his ear. **"DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN? I CALLED YOUR EMPLOYER, BUT HE TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN SINCE SATURDAY!"**

Yuki narrowed his eyes. _Shuichi wasn't at work yesterday? Tohma never mentioned that. Was it a planned break? But it's so close to deadline. Tohma wouldn't do that. _

"I'm fine, Hideki," Shuichi said tiredly as he rubbed his head.

"**You sound horrible!" **

Shuichi forced a smile. "Yeah… I guess I do."

"**Where are you? I'll come pick you up. I don't want you to be troubling anyone else. You really worried me!"**

Shuichi looked around the room and then cocked his head as he stared at Yuki. "I'm not so sure where exactly here is, Hideki. But I know that I'm at Yuki's place!" He added cheerfully.

"**What! What the hell are you doing there? WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN DOING? IS THAT WHY YOU RAN OUT?"**

Shuichi blushed scarlet. "N-nothing! I was just- we were- I-I haven't been- w-well- um- Huh?"

Yuki took the phone from Shuichi's grasp. "Hello, Hideki."

"**WHY ARE YOU ON THE PHONE!"**

Yuki smiled at Shuichi as the model stared at him with shock written all over his face. "Shuichi is unable to talk right now. He's… busy…"

Shuichi removed his gaze from Yuki, his hands playing with the blanket nervously.

"**YOU BASTARD!" **

"I hope you don't mind, but Shuichi will be staying with me until he gets well."

"**Who gave you the-"**

"Tohma told me to take care of his most prized employee. Not to mention, Shuichi hasn't told me that he wants to leave. Shuichi, do you want to leave?"

Shuichi whirled toward the blonde his eyes wide as he stared at the blonde. His mind couldn't think straight. _Did he…? Does he…? I don't want to go back with Hideki, but… Will I be a trouble to Yuki? I don't want to be a bother to anyone. _Shuichi ran a hand through his damp locks as he turned away. "I'd like to stay," he whispered. "But I don't want to be a bother to-"

"Shuichi is staying," said Yuki, not making any room for argument. "He just gave consent."

"**Give the damn phone to Shuichi!" **

Yuki shrugged as he gave the phone to Shuichi, walking away to only turn and lean on the wall, crossing his arms as he sneered.

"Yes, Hideki?" asked Shuichi.

"**What's the address? I'm picking you up."**

Shuichi sighed. "No, Hideki. Yuki will be taking care of me. I think it's best if I get away for a while. Besides, Mr. Seguchi knows him well. There's nothing to fear! I'll be back in a week as good as new!"

"**There is everything to fear! Mr. Seguchi is using Yuki to get to you. Don't let your feelings be your downfall. You've barely met him. You'll only end up heart broken in the end." **Shuichi's eyes widened. _How did he know i had feelings for Yuki? _There was a sigh on the other end. **"But no matter! I guess I can't stop my star model from doing anything he so desires. Just be here for the walk off. It's in five days. That'll give you enough time, yes?"**

"Yes, and thank you, Hideki."

"**It's your funeral. Just make sure… you don't tell him anything. Promise?"**

"Yes," Shuichi said quickly, not even blinking an eye. "I'll see you in five days then."

"**Fine! Ja!"**

"Ja."

Shuichi turned off his cell phone. He sighed as he laid the device on the night stand next to him then turned only to come face to face to the blonde. Gold clashed violet, lips only millimeters away from each other. Shuichi's heart skipped a beat. His face, which had just gone back to its original pale color, turned stark red as his heart beat raced. Yuki reached forward, brushing away the bangs that were in the young model's eyes. He smiled lightly as Shuichi gaped. He leaned forward. Shuichi's eyes widened._ Yuki…_

** Okay, so maybe not a lot happened in this chapter, but at least it's longer than the others. I have already started on chapter nine, so hopefully i'll have that to you guys soon. Hopefully... Anyway hope liked it! Please review! Ja!**_  
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	10. Chapter 10

**I'm back! Sorry about the long wait, but my laptop stopped working! Stupid piece of crap... hope it burns! Anyway, i made this chapter extra long to make up for the long wait (well... i think it's long!). Hope you enjoy!**

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* * *

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Chapter Nine

Tohma hung up the phone. He sighed as he looked up at K. The manager was shaking his head in disappointment as he lowered his gun from his aim on the producer. "We'll never finish the recording on time," K commented as he moved to sit down in the chair across from Tohma, putting his muddy combat boots up on top of the desk as he leaned back in the chair.

Tohma slumped over his desk. His gaze was fixed on the scattered documents in front of him that littered his desk. They were covered with pictures of a certain person with their name and age beside each one. He sighed as he pushed K's feet off of his desk and picked up one of the papers with a gloved hand. "That's the least of my concerns," Tohma muttered as he read the paper, a frown marring his handsome face as he gazed at the picture in front of him. He twirled around in his chair, facing the large window behind him. "This… this is what worries me."

K chuckled as he watched Tohma wave the document around. "Why do you concern yourself with him? It's so unlike you Tohma to worry about unimportant matters. Just let it go. I'm sure everything will turn out fine if you just keep this from getting to the paparazzi."

Tohma shook his head as he turned around and laid the paper down on a stack of files. His expression was mixed with worry and sorrow. "I'm not so sure about him. I just have a feeling that this will leak out."

K let out an exasperated sigh. "You're just paranoid. What do the files say? Has he killed anyone? Is he a child molester?"

Tohma sighed as he shook his head. "No."

K smiled as he rose up his hands in triumph. "You see! Nothing to worry about!"

Tohma looked up at him. He leaned forward and rested his head on the palm of his hand. "It's not that. I'm worried. Yuki… I don't want him to get hurt. Not ever again. And knowing this… I don't have a very good feeling about having those two..." Tohma trailed off, unable to finish.

"Well… what do the documents say?" asked K as he took one of the papers off of Tohma's desk and began reading it. The expression on his face immediately became solemn. "Are you sure you have the right person? It could be a twin… or someone who looks like him."

Tohma shook his head. "It's him. His family is well known in New York. They've been trying to keep it on the down low. I was quite shocked when I found out, as well. You'd never suspect this, but then again I don't know him very well."

K's eyebrows furrowed. "I didn't think… I never knew that… how could someone ever hide something like this? This is just… so horrible. It disgusts me!"

Tohma stood up and grabbed his coat from the hanger. K followed him. "Where are you going?" he asked as he stopped to watch Tohma heading towards the door.

"Out. I need a drink."

"Are you going to do anything about this?"

Tohma turned around, his gaze fierce as he stared at K. "No. Don't let any word of this getting out. Don't confront him, either. He could become violent."

* * *

"How is he?" asked Tohma as he entered Yuki's apartment without knocking. He looked around the apartment quickly, his eyes scanning the bland living room and then wandering up the stairs to the bedroom door that was cracked open.

Yuki's eyes narrowed as he stood up from his couch, turning off the TV and throwing the remote carelessly on the cushions behind him. He crossed his arms as he stared at the producer and frowned. "How the hell did you get in? The door was locked."

Tohma slowly turned toward his brother-in-law and sweat dropped, but quickly put on his famous smile. "I'm sure you just thought you locked it. I've done it once before in my time!"

Yuki walked toward Tohma and started searching his brother-in-law, finding a key in his coat pocket. The blonde held up the key in between their view and scowled. "Why do you have a key to my apartment? I thought the deal was I help you get Shuichi and you'll give me my house keys back! Including the copies!"

Tohma shook his head as he waved a finger in front of the blonde mockingly. "Yes, but you didn't get Shuichi to agree by the end of the party. That was the deal. Instead Shuichi came to me on his own the NEXT day. I didn't think you'd mind if I had a key as long as Tatsuha wasn't able to intrude in upon your privacy. And besides, someone needs to check up on you every so often to make sure you're taking care of yourself."

"Whatever," Yuki grumbled as he turned around and stuck the key into his pocket, trying to ignore the fact that his nosey brother-in-law had most likely already made several copies. "The kid is in my room."

Tohma smirked menacingly. "It's only been a few hours since we talked last and you already have him in bed? My, you've been busy, Yuki, but I never would have branded you as the type to sleep with the ill. Pervert…"

Yuki whirled around and glared at the man in the purple coat. "For your information I haven't even touched him!"

Tohma waved him off, dismissing his comment as if it was unimportant. "Say what you want, but I know you've been prying for the boy's address for a while. If you haven't touched him, I'm sure you've tried, right?"

Yuki scowled as he looked away.

And that's when Tohma became worried.

* * *

Shuichi leaned forward, his finger inside his mouth as he puked out the rest of the soup Yuki had made him eat after his nap. He gasped as he raised his head, sweat rolling down his forehead as he stared at the bile in the toilet. His hands grasped the sink and he pulled himself up, his feet slipping and sliding on the tile floor. He cried out when he stubbed his toe against the shower door, but quickly recovered and stood to his full height.

And then there was the mirror that stared back at him, mocking his weakness and his pain. He stared back at his pitiful reflection, trying to ignore the dark circles underneath his eyes. If he didn't look so sickly he could pass himself off as some porn star; the slight pout on his lips, the blush that stained his cheeks, and his wild hair that just screamed 'Ravish me'. Oh, yeah. He looked absolutely delectable. Shuichi chuckled cruelly as he ran a hand through his hair.

_Even my sisters would lust after me, _he thought as he stared down at the tiny red marks on his wrists.

He blinked back tears as he smiled.

_Hideki… he says I'm beautiful... _

Shuichi opened a drawer to the sink, no longer staring at his sickening reflection.

_He loves my dark hair, my pale skin and the scars that cover me from inside and out…_

He opened another drawer, not finding what he needed and proceeded to open the next drawer down, becoming even more anxious as time ticked by.

_He wants me to stay with him… he left his wife just for me…_

His eyes softened as he found what he was looking for, winking and twinkling back at him mockingly.

_And yet…_

He brought the glittering metal to his wrist, feeling the coolness against his flesh.

_I want someone else…_

Shuichi gazed up at himself in the mirror.

_Who will never want me._

He scraped the razor against his wrist, a moan escaping from his parted lips. His face contorted with pain and bliss, as if he were making love for the very first time. He dropped the bloody razor onto the spotless tile floor, his gaze moving to the scarlet liquid that was slowly making its way down the length of his arm.

He sobbed softly as tears rolled down his cheeks and onto the floor.

(Flashback)

_Shuichi watched as his lips moved toward him, his breath hitching and his heart beat pounding loudly in his ears. Is this really happening, he wondered as he closed his eyes. A shaky breath escaped his lips as he felt the blonde's warm breath on his chin. He leaned slightly forward, and then blushed scarlet when he felt Yuki's lips just barely touching his own. _

_Shuichi's eyes opened when he suddenly felt Yuki pull away and the warmth disappear just as quickly. He gasped as he looked around, tears coming to his eyes. His gaze wandered to the walls, to the carpet, the blanket that covered his legs, anywhere to avoid Yuki's gaze. He felt like he had just been smacked. Nobody rejected him, nobody had. Everybody loved him. Everybody wanted to be him, be with him. Except for…_

_Except for **him.**_

_Except for Yuki._

_Shuichi looked up as he felt a hand run through his dark locks. "Get some sleep," the older man said before he walked out of the room and gently closed the door behind him._

(End Flashback)

Shuichi came back to reality when he heard voices heading towards him. His eyes dropped to the drips of blood on the floor and the bile in the toilet. He looked up quickly, noticing a red haze of himself through the blood stained mirror. _How the hell…? _His eyes widened as a flood of memories came rushing back to him and he heard screams of a boy and the crash of glass. He clamped his hands against his ears as he whispered, "Not again…"

"_Please… I'm sorry. I can do-"_

_SMACK_

_He cried out in pain as he crashed into the mirror. Blood dripped everywhere. And all he could see was red through the glass…_

As the voices grew louder, Shuichi quickly shook his head and grabbed a towel on a stand nearby. He started wiping vigorously at the floor and mirror and tried to stop the bleeding on his arm as the footsteps drew near. After throwing the towel in the corner by the door he quickly flushed the toilet and looked around for any other suspecting objects.

The door creaked as it was opened.

The blade lay forgotten underneath the sink on the bathroom floor.

Shuichi whirled around and was faced with a shocked Tohma and Yuki. He hid his arm behind his back and gave a nervous smile. _Oh God, what should I say? **Nothing too stupid, I hope… **_

"H-hello…?" Shuichi stuttered. He immediately blushed when Yuki gave him a look as if to say 'Are you alright upstairs'?

_**Idiot. **_

_What else was I supposed to say?_

_**Preferably nothing.**_

Tohma immediately smiled, which helped to diminish some of Shuichi's embarrassment. "Hello, Mr. Shindou. We were looking for you. Are you feeling better?"

Shuichi nodded as his smile widened. "Yes. Much better, thank you. I think I'll be able to work tomorrow."

Yuki frowned while Tohma looked concerned. "Oh, that won't be necessary Mr. Shindou. You just focus on-"

"No," Shuichi interrupted. He looked towards the floor, trying not to shiver as the cold air blew in from the window behind him, brushing against his wound. "I just started and I want to make the deadline. I may not be able to model in my condition… or sing for a day or two. But I need to finish those lyrics for you. We have a deadline and I intend to meet it!" Shuichi looked up at Tohma; his fierce eyes took the president by surprise, reminding him of another singer who was just as stubborn.

Tohma stared at Shuichi, a strange mix of worry and annoyance on his face. And then suddenly it was gone and replaced with a smile that sent eerie shivers down Shuichi's back. "Alright, Shindou. If that's really what you want."

Shuichi nodded brusquely, trembling and suddenly feeling dizzy. "It is."

"I suggest you stay here and get some rest," Yuki interjected as he grabbed Shuichi's arm, steadied the nauseous boy, and led him out of the bathroom. "Get into bed and stay there. If I see you out and about again I'm kicking you out and you can find somewhere else to stay!"

Yuki roughly shoved Shuichi into the master bedroom and slammed the door closed. He walked back to Tohma and crossed his arms. "What the hell are you thinking?" he shouted.

Tohma shrugged and turned his back to the novelist, looking around the seemingly clean bathroom. "If he wants to work, let him work."

"He's sick," Yuki said simply as he grabbed the rumpled towel on the floor and started to fold it.

Tohma turned toward Yuki. "He's just-" he stopped when he noticed the bloodstains on the white towel. "Yuki," he started hesitantly, "has Shuichi been acting… odd?"

Yuki thought for a moment and answered, "No."

"I see."

* * *

Shuichi opened his eyes. Tuesday. He had spent the night with Yuki. The very thought made him blush, until he realized that the man hadn't even taken one step into his room since he had so carelessly tossed the poor model inside. Shuichi sighed and turned towards the clock that rested on the night stand next to him. It read 1:30.

Shuichi immediately bolted out of the bed. "Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm late already! Where are my clothes?" he asked to himself as he started searching the dresser and pulling out clothes that didn't belong to him and were obviously meant to be worn to bed. Giving up on finding his other clothes he quickly grabbed a pair pants and a shirt that were hanging up in the closet and got dressed.

He looked at the clock.

1:50

He ran out of the bedroom as fast as lightning. "I can still make it!" he shouted as he ran through crowds of people, dodging traffic and evil bicyclists that he swore, 'were trying to run him over'. Just as he was about to pass out the NG building came into view and he used his last bit of strength to run inside, up the stairs, and into Room 2.

K, Hiro, and Suguru stared at him in shock as he crashed through the door and stopped in front of them. Shuichi slumped forward, hands braced on his knees as he gasped. The black dress pants he had randomly grabbed were down to his knees, exposing plaid boxers and the red shirt was sliding off of his shoulders.

"I'm here," Shuichi panted.

Suguru turned toward the clock that was positioned on the wall beside him. "And you're on time, too," he added.

Shuichi beamed. "Yeah!" he shouted as he regained his posture and gave a thumb up sign.

"So does that mean you have the lyrics finished?" K asked.

Shuichi immediately dropped to the floor and groaned out, "… No."

The three sighed as they stared down at the depressed model. "Well, I guess we better get working," said Hiro as he shrugged and walked toward his guitar. "We need to make that deadline."

Suguru sighed. "If only Shuichi could come up with some decent lyrics we could start recording. I don't even know if he's a decent vocalist."

K chuckled. "No need to worry, Mr. Fujisaki," said K as he loaded his gun and pointed it at Shuichi. "I can always give Shuichi some inspiration."

Shuichi gulped and quickly grabbed a piece of paper and pencil and began working on his unfinished lyrics.

_Vanish into the night_

_These days people have been led astray_

_Throw off the chains if they are rusted…?  
_

_What the hell am I writing? _Shuichi asked himself as he stared down at the lyrics he just wrote. Shuichi looked up at the clock and scowled. _It took me two hours to write this crap! What the hell! _Shuichi groaned as he smacked his forehead. "I'm never going to finish," he whined.

Hiro smiled. "Don't worry. You're just in a slump. You'll get out of it!"

Shuichi shook his head. "No! I've always been awful when it came to writing. I can't even write a simple haiku! If only I had taken more creative writing classes during my short time in college..."

Hiro chuckled. "Well, instead of beating yourself up about it, why don't you go to the club with me and Suguru tonight?"

Hiro turned toward the green haired boy who shrugged in reply. "It'd be good for us to hang out for once," Suguru added. "We barely know one another."

"How 'bout it?" Hiro asked, his eyes staring at the model with a hopeful look.

Shuichi stared at Suguru and Hiro, both looked sincere. _But what would Hideki think? _Shuichi looked away. "I shouldn't. I haven't been feeling well… and going to a club wouldn't make me feel any better."

Hiro shrugged. "Alright, but if you change your mind we'll be waiting for you at the entrance of the Code."

Shuichi nodded and quickly returned to his lyrics. _**You wouldn't have had fun anyway. And Hideki would have been mad. **Yes. Hideki would have been mad._

Shuichi looked down at his lyrics and sighed in frustration. He crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it into the trash can behind him, missing it by an inch. As he stared down at the blank sheet in front of him he was suddenly reminded of a golden eyed blonde.

_I hide myself from others_

_Because I know that they won't see me_

_But I see you_

_And you see me_

_And I feel as if I could love you _

_Forever_

Shuichi's eyes widened as he sang the lyrics to himself, liking the tune and enjoying the rhythm of it. "K will like this one," he muttered to himself as he stood up, lyrics still in hand. "I just need to finish it…"

Shuichi looked up at the clock. His eyes bugged out at the time.

9:00

_It's 9:00 already! It took me five hours... well I was daydreaming about... I need to get back!  
_

Shuichi quickly rushed out of the room and ran down the stairs. He stopped when he noticed Hiro and Suguru heading his way and hid behind a wall. _I feel too embarrassed about rejecting their invitation. _

"So what do you think about him?" asked Suguru.

"I don't know," Hiro answered, sounding bored. "Honestly, I hate him. I wish Mr. Seguchi hadn't hired him on. I hate his friends, too."

Shuichi's eyes watered. _Are they talking about me? Does Hiro really hate me? He seemed so nice before… **Didn't Hideki warn you? **Yes, but- **You really are an idiot. Of course they hate you! You can't even come up with decent lyrics! **_

"I feel the same," Suguru commented. "What was my cousin thinking?"

Shuichi couldn't hear anymore and quickly rushed out of the wall he had been hiding behind and out of the building into the rain. He ran down the street, pushing past people and ignoring the honks of cars as he ran through traffic. _I need to get back to Yuki's. He'll be mad at me for ignoring him. _

Tears streamed down his cheeks as he remembered Hiro's comment. _He couldn't be talk about me. Hiro is so nice to me. He wouldn't do that… **What are you talking about? You barely know each other! **_

Shuichi came to the apartment building and ran inside and up the stairs. He ran down the hallway, his shoes squeaking loudly and his drenched body dripping onto the carpet and stopped at what, he suspected, was Yuki's room.

The door opened before he could knock.

And he met fierce golden eyes that darkened at Shuichi's dripping form.

"How did-"

"Get in!" Yuki barked before Shuichi could finish asking his question and grabbed the boy's arm and dragged him inside.

Shuichi quickly kicked off his shoes and followed Yuki toward the living room, stopping when the novelist whirled around to face him.

"Where the hell have you been?" he shouted.

Shuichi couldn't look into the blonde's eyes and focused instead on the floor. "Work."

"I thought I told you to get some rest!"

Shuichi nodded. "You did."

"Why didn't you leave a note? And are those my clothes that you're wearing?"

Shuichi nodded. "I didn't leave a note, because I was running late… and I couldn't find my clothes."

"Then why the hell didn't you stay home?" shouted the novelist. "That's my good shirt!"

Shuichi sniffed. "I'm sorry."

Yuki sighed as tears streamed down Shuichi's face, dripping onto the floor and mixing with the rain water. "Take off those clothes and get a shirt out of my dresser. I want you in bed. Have you had anything to eat?"

Shuichi shook his head, unable to lie to him.

"Get into bed and I'll be in with some soup."

Shuichi nodded.

* * *

Shuichi flushed the toilet, trying to ignore the bile that he had forced himself to throw up. His body ached everywhere and the dizziness didn't help. He fell into the cozy bed and cuddled close to the pillows, not bothering to put the blanket on his warm body. _I feel so hot, _he thought as rested his hand on his forehead. His eyes closed.

"_Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are, Shuichi?" he asked as he stroked the boy's face. "You're like an angel."_

_The boy moved away, crying out when he was slammed against the brick wall. "Please, don't," he whispered as tears fell from his violet eyes and onto the glass that cut his hands._

"_Shuichi, why do you run from me?" he asked, looking hurt. "I love you."_

_The boy sobbed as his shirt was unbuttoned. He struggled against him, but was smacked for his disobedience._

"_You will obey me!" he shouted._

Shuichi opened his eyes, the screams of the last three years playing over in his mind's eye. He stared up at the ceiling, not able to sleep.

"_You're so beautiful, Shuichi. Like an angel."_

_

* * *

_**Did you like it? Please review and tell me! I'm starting on chapter ten right now and i'll have it out by the end of July at the latest (hopefully sooner). Ja!**_  
_


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